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Does business hate project management?


Jonathan AtkinsonBusiness and Project Management bump into each other in the pub one Friday night….

Business: “Hey, Project Management, stop disturbing me all the time, I’m trying to do my job, make money and you keep getting in the way.”

Project Management: “Listen to me Business, the CEO said I was going to happen whether you like it or not. I am cool and shiny and new and I promise great things to all. I am the most important thing going on in your life so you better get used to me being around.”

Business: “Pah, I’ve heard THAT a hundred times before. Nobody cares about you, they don’t even understand what your point is. I overheard Larry and Bill talking at the water cooler the other day they were making jokes about your name – Project Icarus hahaha you flew too close to the sun.”

Project Management: “Larry and Bill are on my map as negatively affected output stakeholders, my communication plan will bring them around.”

Business: “You lost me at map.”

Project Management: “You’re lost full stop that’s why I am here. I plan what I am going to do, manage my issues and risks, identify benefits and put plans in place to make sure that YOU realise the benefits. I make you look good.”

Business: “I’m too busy already, my clients are demanding, my staff need looking after, each month-end I am tied up in knots, there are new regulations I have to comply with that are stifling my creativity and hindering my chances of making my targets.”

Project Management: “The scope I’m delivering includes optimisation in people, process and technology in Sales, HR, Finance and Compliance. If we work together and deliver what we agree is best for you, Business, I think you’ll learn to like me, not hate me. Larry and Bill got my project name wrong, it’s Phoenix and we will rise from the ashes."

Business: “You know what Project Management, you’re actually Ok. We should talk and listen to each other like this more often. The next round is on me.”